Questions from Relief Society today and other things

We ran out of time so quickly, and I had a few more questions, and I am sure you all did too. I thought perhaps we could use this forum to ask and answer each others questions. These relate to Chapter 4 in the Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson manual

1. How do you quantify and measure happiness? What do you correlate happiness to? We are often taught that the gospel is the only way to true happiness, and that by living the principles of the gospel we will find happiness. I have always generally understood that this meant in the next life and not necessarily this life, were others taught the same? Or do you feel that living the gospel means you will be happy in this life? Is living the gospel, in your opinion, the only way to happiness? These were some of the questions that came up in my mind during today's Relief Society lesson. I see many happy, and unhappy people, both religious and secular. A religious or secular paradigm does not seem to be what causes happiness or unhappiness outright, it is much more than that. What are the things that make you happy, and do you believe it is more our attitude than anything? 

2. We are taught that faith without works is dead, can we say the same of the inverse: Works without Faith is dead? We are taught those without knowledge of the plan will have the opportunity to learn about and accept it in the afterlife, but what about those of us who already had the knowledge and lost our ability to believe in it? By continuing to be good people who follow the commandments are we still able to obtain Celestial Glory, or are we less than because we could not believe, even though we continued to be good people? 

3. In studying for this lesson, I went to this link on LDS living: http://ldsliving.com/story/77704-teachings-of-ezra-taft-benson-lesson-4-living-joyfully-in-troubled-times. Here they make the following statement: "The only reason for unhappiness is sin." I know this goes along with question one, but I really wanted to drill down to this one thought because I do not agree with it, but perhaps that goes back to how you define happiness? I think that there are many who suffer in our world and are genuinely unhappy because of forces they have no control over. I am thinking war, famine, disease, etc. I feel that by saying the only reason you are able to be unhappy is if you sin is a bit demeaning to these people who suffer from unhappiness because of the issues I listed, and others. Thoughts?

4. Next I wanted to discuss this from the last section of the lesson: "There is no happiness
when you fail to live according to your convictions, according to that which you know to be right." This is one of my Catch-22's with Mormonism. That which I know to be right, the truth right now, is often in direct confrontation with what I am sometimes taught in church. I know this goes along with our post/discussion on truth, but to me, what I know to be right isn't always in line with the gospel. Does anyone else ever feel this way? How do I live my convictions if they are not in line with the gospel, what if what I vehemently feel to be right is in direct opposition to something the church stands for? 

5. Lastly, I wanted to discuss this closing statement from the lesson: "We will never be alone if we live as we should, because our Father will always be with us to bless us. He wants us to be successful. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to achieve the good goals we set. He will do His part if we do our part." Success can be defined in many different ways, and so can good goals, but I feel so often that we mold these definitions to prove our hypothesis regardless of the outcome. If a man is faithful and poor his whole life, we just say he was successful in other ways, or perhaps if our goals are not obtained we say they were not righteous or good by God's standards. If a man is successful all his life and happens to be a member we automatically want to hold him as an example of receiving the promised blessings, even though his success may have nothing to do with it. Regardless of if the outcome is A or B we always say that the outcome points to proof of our beliefs. This concept has been driving me crazy lately, literally. This idea is making me feel like a mad woman because I cannot buy it. I cannot believe that literally, regardless of the outcome, that it points to proof of this religion being true, which is what my quest is right now. It seems to me that God would want nulls in the hypothesis so we could know with certainty of his existence, of his plan. But I feel so often that there is no room for nulls in Mormonism. I feel God would not make belief and knowledge of him this hard, a loving earthly father would make things as easy as possible for his children to find him, to know him, to fully believe and comprehend him, and I feel that a heavenly father would do the same. Too often I find myself seeing the lack of these nulls, these absolutes in Mormonism, that everyone is able to believe without issue, and I feel like I must be nutty for not being able to see it the same way. I think all the time about the statements in the scripture that talk about asking for a sign and how it is such an awful thing to do, and I think, am I asking for a sign because I want to know? Is that why I am not being given an answer. Then the other side of me says, no, we are taught any man who asks will have the answers given to him. So why not me? I know people are able to live for years without answers to their questions, but I do not think I am that person. I can feel myself reaching a breaking point, where I need something answered, something to make sense. Because not having these answers is making me unhappy in the church. Am I not doing my part enough that he will do his? I was just promised in this lesson that very thing, and yet, it does not happen for me, and I feel that a Heavenly Father would know me well enough to know I am reaching my limit, when is he going to reach out and give me the answer? Does he not love me enough to give me what I need to continue on? You see all these questions and paradoxes that arise in my mind just from this one statement? Church is very hard when you have a brain like mine :)